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A Father's Cry For Father's Day, give your dad all of your love Father's Day is this week, and I imagine many wives and children are trying to find the right "gift" for Dad.
It might be some new piece of clothing, a warm and fuzzy Hallmark card or maybe golf balls. My dad, who is 85, has gotten everything one can imagine for a gift. So, some time ago, I opted for a "dad letter" thanking him for all he had done for me and reminiscing about him being my father. I guess I just did my own "Dave card." One day, my brothers and our families had breakfast with my dad and we sat in his backyard; we each told our dad how much we loved him, and we ended our time together having communion as a family — a day none of us will ever forget. Oh, I still might give him a shirt because my mom says he has a "hole" in the other ones or he got paint on them. I remind myself each holiday that a gift is simply the expression of love. But why is it so hard to just look at our dad in the eyes and tell him more than the "I love you?" Absolutely one of the hardest things in life is to sometimes go past the "love" statement to a more descriptive sharing of our love. Sometimes, as I attend funerals, I think the reason we have such pain is that we failed to express love in words to that loved one while he was alive or those missed intimate moments or opportunities. You see, I don't buy into the comments, "He knew I loved him" when I rarely, if ever, told him of my love. So, why do we many times buy the cards to say what we feel? Why don't we face up and say and express the things we desire deeply in our hearts? For each of us, those reasons may be different. We can blame it on the age of "noncommunication of text messages or e-mails … even when we are in the same house!" I happen to think that is bunk. I think these are poor excuses for not being open, real, honest and truthful. We hide behind all these excuses in a cold world where we all want warmth, love, security and family. Maybe hurts or scars have gotten in your way of telling your dad of your love? Get past your anger and disappointments. Be the one who steps across the line and "end" the issue regardless of the outcome or responses by your dad. It is about me doing what I am supposed to do, and that is to forgive and love and to hand all my grievances over to my Heavenly Father. Maybe this isn't your typical "Father's Day" message. I know fathers are under attack by the pressures of the world to be great dads, to be intimate, to be great communicators, to spend quality time with kids, to be good providers and protectors, and to be the spiritual head of the family and to love your child's mother. We are even under attack in our Amarillo court system where lawyers and judges are taking away the rights of fathers for something as basic as joint custody. In fact, our court system is the biggest cause of absent fathers in our country — more so than bad dads who don't show up. It is shameful and, I think, sinful that judges buy into the lie that fathers have very limited or no roles with their kids. We know that fathers have a critical and formative role with their children. Kids say they need their dads. Whether your dad is alive or dead, you can still speak out love to your dad. Maybe it is a visit to the cemetery or just a prayer thanking your Heavenly Father for your dad? To all the Dads, thank you for all the games, vacations, tucking kids into bed, making it possible for that first car or putting a rubber band in the pony tail when Mom was gone or sick. Thank you for taking kids to school and buying them all those things they wanted but didn't need. Thank you for covering that car payment when they mismanaged the dollars at school. Thank you for helping kids take care of that first car and showing up for the choir concert. Oh, thank you for helping kids get through college, and the list goes on and on and on. Dads, I can't even imagine not having you day in and day out in their lives. Thank you for when they needed you the most. Fathers are critically important. So what if you're a dad who slipped up? It is never too late to make it right. Don't look at this day as just another day but as an opportunity to share with your dad how much you love him, and maybe it is your day to forgive him for his blunders and reconcile your relationship. Don't let it end or begin with a shirt or tie purchased at the mall. Do it one better, and get a little brave; tell him of your love and your appreciation for him. It is never too late. Fathers are necessary. Why? KIDS SAY SO! Happy Father's Day. Dave Clark: Columnist for the Amarillo Independent. Send comments to news@amarilloindy.com. E-mail
comments about this story Posted: June 12, 2008
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